Knocked over by a word

Out of nowhere I was slapped across the face, totally blind sided. I thought I was fine and suddenly I heard this word in my head, it was so loud and unexpected, I burst into nearly unstoppable tears.

dev·as·tate

[ˈdevəˌstāt]

VERB

1. destroy or ruin (something):

   "the city was devastated by a huge earthquake" ·

   [more]

   "bad weather has devastated the tourist industry"

   synonyms: destroy · ruin · wreck · lay waste · ravage · demolish ·

   [more]

   raze (to the ground) · level · flatten · trash · total

   • cause (someone) severe and overwhelming shock or grief:
     "she was devastated by the loss of Damian"
     synonyms: shatter · shock · stun · daze · dumbfound · traumatize · crush ·

     [more]

     overwhelm · overcome · distress

ORIGIN

mid 17th cent.: from Latin devastat- ‘laid waste,’ from the verb devastare, from de- ‘thoroughly’ + vastare ‘lay waste.’

RELATED FORMS

devastated	(past tense)
devastated	(past participle)

This "action" word stunned me, dearest angel, I am and I will always be devastated by your loss; but I promise to not let that keep me from moving forward.