Going to start looking down

not ready

I know  you're disappointed but I'm just not ready to read "Shopaholic Ties The Knot". I know, it's just the title but it reminds me of you and it's still too fresh. I'm taking it back to the library since I've had it checked out for over 2 months.

tgif??

yeah, not so much any more...ok, I like the fact that it's the weekend but I don't like not having you to talk to as I drive to the parents...there are things to talk about and only you understand. a perfect example is today when I took my walk at lunch, I thought I was actually going to make it without a tear but as soon as that thought popped into my head I started to cry...

I miss you so much and I don't know if that will ever stop.

my sweet boy

once again Hiccup is saving my day, it's hard to be sad when this sweet canine plays the clown.
He does his best to make me smile, he is so silly. He's been on the pillow next to me, reaching his paw to touch me, then he gets on top of me and lays back, then suddenly he's off to chase his ball or bark at Harry. I don't miss you as much on nights like this....

yes!!!

monday monday

day after Father's Day...just like the Monday after Mother's Day your parents are in my thoughts. I really want to send them a card but every time I try to write to them I cry. I know my grief is nothing compared to theirs.

Just something else to ponder on my way to work...

another Friday

of all the days of the week Friday is always the hardest to get through but it seems to be getting a tiny bit better at least today wasn't so bad. Yes I ramble but it's what I do best! I think I worry that one day I will forget and that in my mind and heart would be terrible. I don't ever want to forget you or what you meant in my life.

selfie with the boys!!

yeah, Harry and Hiccup just don't get it!! but on a day that I needed to smile they helped!

missing you more than words will ever be able to express dearest angel.

anniversary

an·ni·ver·sa·ry

[ˌanəˈvərs(ə)rē]

NOUN

anniversaries (plural noun)

1. the date on which an event took place in a previous year:

   "the 50th anniversary of the start of World War II" ·

   [more]

   "anniversary celebrations"

   • the date on which a country or other institution was founded in a previous year:
     "Canada's 125th anniversary"
   • the date on which a couple was married in a previous year:
     "he even forgot our tenth anniversary!"
   • informal
     the date on which a romance began in a previous month or week.

ORIGIN

Middle English: from Latin anniversarius ‘returning yearly,’ from annus ‘year’ + versus ‘turning.’

I should be talking to you about how you celebrated your 1 month anniversary as a newlywed but instead I'm trying not to cry, I know this won't be the first anniversary this year that will make me cry.

hiccup

I am sitting in front of my lap top and sweet Hiccup is sitting on top of me staring at the screen. he reaches out to my hand, not sure if he wants me to pet him or help him type!

he's been such a joy and his antics have helped me so much on those days when I just want to cry

dearest angel

Thank you for watching over me, it has been a rough week and I'm still hurting, something new to get use to but in time I'll be fine.

You were in my thoughts everyday but I didn't have enough of myself available to write.

reason 2

Dover

Today was the first race at Dover and what do you know Jimmie won again! It was a weird race but then this has been that kind of year. The stage racing is different and keeps you guessing on what will happen next!

Matt started off doing fairly well in row 2 and ended the race in 13th.

Watching Columbo right now on ME TV...so much fun when the guy kills his golden goose. I know you'd have loved this episode.


I don't want to jump to conclusions but it may be getting a little easier...I'll let you know when I'm sure..

you always find a way...

power went out for a couple hours so I played cards, yes I own a deck of real playing cards, we ate dinner, pizza! Walked the dogs and sat on the back deck and read a book. So I came in to take a picture once the power came back on...and no I didn't plan that and only noticed once it was loaded on the computer!

Thank you for always being here with me...

rough days ahead

dearest angel,

going to ask for your forgiveness incase over the next several days I don't write much, getting ready for a couple of rough days in my future. I know I haven't written everyday but you know you are forever in my thoughts and heart. We do talk at least once a day, ok you listen I talk!

and yes I still miss you more than I ever thought possible, my tears still flow. Still wondering why...